Do you ever see couples who have been together for a long time and ask yourself how they have done it? It is something that I do as well, especially when it comes to my good friend from Wesson Eric Wetlaufer who has been with his girlfriend now for over 6 years, and they will probably wind up getting married and growing old together. I had a frank conversation with my buddy about how he has managed to not only stay with his partner for so long, but how they are still so happy with each other. I asked what the secret was and this is what he told me.
The first point which Eric made was about being faithful, something which should go without saying but many see things differently. A healthy relationship must be built upon trust and both men and women must ensure that they do all that they can to create an environment of trust.
In most cases both parties are honest with each other but there are always some things that may be held back. Eric tells me that what he believes to be the key to his success in his relationship is the brutal honesty which he and his partner give to each other, he tells me that without this honesty things can easily get confused, and arguments can take place. In many relationships that have gone wrong, it is because the level of honesty has declined.
Both Eric and his partner have a large group of friends and Eric stresses how important it is that each partner makes time for the company that the other keeps. Eric says that if his girlfriend didn’t like his friends then it wouldn’t be the end of the world, but life is infinitely better when they can get on, likewise with him and her friends.
Something which I really applaud Eric and his girlfriend for is the way in which they communicate on a daily basis. Each of them will send perhaps one text or email to the other during the day, but other than that there is radio silence between the two. The reason why they decided to be like this is so that they would have lots to talk about when they got home. I have friends who are in relationships where they cannot stop texting and calling each other and whilst this may give the impression that they are happier, Eric and his girlfriend have shown evidence that the non-contact approach is a better way of doing things.
Eric believes that there should be sacrifice in every relationship and that it must be from both parties. This may be something as simple as canceling plans with a friend to spend time together, accepting a decorating idea which you may not like or even spending money on something which you hadn’t planned. Sacrifice is key, but only if it is a two way street!