In Understandable Terms: 5 Things You Need to Know About Communicating Divorce to Your Children
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In Understandable Terms: 5 Things You Need to Know About Communicating Divorce to Your Children

If you and your significant other have decided it would be best for you two to separate, conveying the news to your children is never an easy task. When breaking the news to your children, consider these five tips to successfully convey the message to your children with the least damage possible.

  • Don’t point fingers

While emotions may be high and each side of the party may feel like the other is to blame, pointing fingers will only worsen the situation and lead to tension. When keeping your children in consideration, remaining neutral with the situation will prevent them from becoming uncomfortable with one party placing the blame entirely on the other person which will only upset the children.

  • Do it together

Although the emotions and tension may be high, conveying the message to your children together regardless of emotion will make them feel better in the long run. Showing unity in a time of separation will make the children feel like the divorce isn’t as complicated as it may really be and gives them a sense of comfort seeing you too able to work together to send the message. 

  • Explain the plan

Being at an age where many things are still coming into reality, explaining to your kids the long-term plan that you and your partner have in place will give them a sense of comfort knowing what they will have a planned out future. If you don’t yet have a plan, you can seek advice from an expert, such Family law solicitor London. Having a solicitor to explain the legal obligations each party has for the child will allow you to make a long-term plan for you and for the children.

  • Understand their age

Explaining divorce to a toddler and a teenager are very different so make sure you factor in the age of your kids when planning out how to best deliver the news. For a younger child it would be best to be honest about what they should expect going forwards but avoid technical language that will go right over their heads. For slightly older kids and teenagers you can be a bit more open about the reasoning for your decision and make sure that you still convey the message with reassurance and care which any child needs to recognize. 

  • Prepare for backlash

No matter the age or maturity of your child, there will inevitably be resistance and backlash towards your decision. Primarily a result of misunderstanding the situation and not knowing what to expect, children are often scared of what may come and can get highly emotional and even aggressive. Being prepared to deal with heightened emotions and upset children will allow you to comfort them in a time where both you and your children are scared and confused. 

In conclusion, applying these tips when speaking to your kids about divorce will ensure comfort and understanding in a time that can drastically change the course of both of your lives.

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