Separation and divorce are tough things to go through for any couple, decisions like these are not made lightly and the whole process will test both your emotional and mental strength. This situation is further complicated when there are children involved and handling the situation needs to be done in a very delicate matter. Many top child psychologists like Dr. Jonathan Lauter have spoken out about the importance of each parents’ role towards their children during such a difficult time and that if not managed correctly, children can grow up to have many detachment and other emotional issues that will stay with them for life.
If you are experiencing a separation or a divorce then here are some of the things that you need to do in order to help your child through the process.
Don’t Sugarcoat the Situation
Children aren’t stupid, they have a great sense for knowing that something is going on and if you lie to them about the situation or try to pretend that it is better than it is then they are going to know. The best course of action is to speak frankly and honestly about what the situation is, they will have questions, probably several and you should hear them out and answer them openly. Avoid giving them false hope and also avoid being too brutal with the truth, honesty is one thing but remember that they are still children and you don’t want to scare them with harsh truths or uncertainty.
Give Them Love
Children will feel like what is happening is their fault, it is your job to shower them with love and let them know that they did nothing wrong. Many people misunderstand this step and feel as though spoiling their children is somehow going to help them get over what is happening, this isn’t the case. Your child needs your emotional support, not your wallet and whilst treating them a little is never a bad thing, ensure that you are not just trying to pay for them to be ok with what is happening.
Aim for Peace
Whatever has happened between you and your partner, no matter how bad things are, you need to remember that the life of your child or children is the most important part. Seeking a friendly agreement between you and your ex, for the sake of your child is what you need to aim for and this may mean swallowing some pride. Once your child becomes a pawn in the battle between you and your ex-partner, you are ini danger of giving them sever emotional trauma, this should be avoided at all costs. When it comes to visitation you need to be flexible with your schedule so that your child can have ample time with both parents, don’t be selfish, regardless of what the other person has done, this is a child that you are trying to keep safe and away from too much emotional damage, always remember that they are the priority.