Falling in love is easy. It’s maintaining the relationship that’s difficult. People find themselves in relationships for all kinds of reasons, and if you find yourself looking around and feeling like now is the time to develop one, there are several things you need to ask yourself first. If you’re already in a relationship and wish to take things in a more serious direction, it’s also a good idea to examine your situation and your personal feelings to make sure you’re ready to make the big leap into togetherness with someone special. The dating scene in Canada is full of variety; you’re bound to meet all kinds of people, so now’s the time to start asking yourself the hard questions.
Relationships can follow patterns. If you’re someone who has found themselves painfully pining away in every relationship, on unequal terms with your paramour, it’s fair to say before you start a new commitment you need to make sure you’re on firm footing. Be confident enough to say you deserve a partner who cherishes you, and that you’re in a great place to get out there.
If you’re shy, clubs and bars can be daunting, but an easy and stress-free way to meet someone is through online dating on sites such as eHarmony. So if you’re new to the dating game, or have been out of it for so long you’ve forgotten the rules, online dating could be just the ticket for your new self-assurance.
Are you able to date just one person?
With great confidence comes great responsibility. You may now realize that you’re witty, smart, and beguiling, but now you need to ask if what you want is a romantic mate or just not to be alone. Dating is one thing, relationships another. While you my enjoy a drink with Stella on Tuesday, a movie with Cindy on Thursday, and a concert with Lynn on Saturday, that doesn’t mean you need to weigh up which you will commit to. That may not be your style. So make sure a true-blue, monogamous date is what you’re after before you seriously approach the other person.
A pitfall that affects a lot of relationships is money. Be upfront with your partner about any money issues or earning issues you have. If you aren’t comfortable with being the big earner, or you resent the fact that your boyfriend/girlfriend makes more than you do, you need to address it, and fast. Nothing kills romance faster than money resentment
Make sure you’re on the same page
The person does not have to be a carbon copy of yourself, or even a badly made mimeograph. But you both need to be on the same page for more issues than you disagree on. If you want to commit to someone but have no idea what his views are on having children, that might be something obvious to consider. But something less obvious is dealing with existing children from other relationships. How will your new romance affect them? How does your partner feel about having a built-in family? When do you introduce your new beau to the kids, and what does that do to your relationship? These are big questions, and you need to ask them before you fall head over heels into heartache.
Vancouver singles and couples alike find themselves grappling with relationship issues, but ultimately you are the only one who can say what you want and what you’re ready for. If you’ve made the leap from solo to duo, you’ve already thought a thing or two through. Just make sure you open your eyes to your motives as well as your heart to love.