Life is not easy and neither is marriage. Relationships take work if you want them to be successful. Many times marriages fall apart over the little things in life that could have been avoided had the parties involved worked on their marriage.
There is a reason you got married in the first place. Sometimes going back to that reason can rekindle a relationship. What are some things you can do to save your marriage?
Start Dating Again
This might sound silly but it actually isn’t. As we already mentioned above, there is a reason you fell in love with your spouse. Try to remember the qualities you valued most and how you felt when you first fell in love.
Life can get in the way of our happiness. Too often we neglect our spouses and don’t make the effort to spend time together.
Where did you go on your first date? Make an appointment to do the same thing or something similar. It will bring back memories of when you were young and hopelessly in love.
Understand Each Other’s Concerns
Instead of criticizing your partner, try using constructive criticism. It is natural to feel defensive if someone, even our spouse, criticizes something we have done. Try starting your sentences with one of the following openers:
- I would like to…
- I feel…
- My concern is…
Notice that you are not saying “you did this” or “why did you do that”? You are emphasizing how you feel or how you are interpreting an action or comment. Rather than accusing your spouse of doing something wrong, you are opening up the discussion so that you can cooperatively talk about solutions.
When you love someone you want what is best for them. The reverse is also true. When someone loves you, you expect them to want what is best for you.
If your spouse wants to learn to do something new, encourage them to try it, praise them when they are successful, be supportive if they hit some bumps, and applaud them when they persevere. You will see how this can truly help your relationship.
Act as a Team
When partners see themselves as part of the same team, it can go a long way in keeping a marriage healthy. This doesn’t mean that each partner shouldn’t have their own identity.
It is important to be self-sufficient and have your own time to do what you want. Rather than taking away from one person’s identity, adding a 3rd shared identity will help you work together and be more committed to solve issues or concerns.
A few little things you can do are:
- Send a loving text message just because you can
- Surprise your spouse with a little gift
- Be affectionate
- Show interest in the activities or hobbies in which your spouse participates
Things to Avoid
There are three things that willruin a relationship. Try your best to avoid them. No healthy marriage can exist when excessive anger, affairs, or addictions are present.
All of these behaviors will destroy your relationship and are self-defeating. If your spouse is the one with the problem, unfortunately it might not be in your best interest to try to save the marriage. It might be best to end it.
There are other situations where there is nothing you can do to save your marriage. Examples are when there is any violence or abuse. If you are in such a situation, get out of the marriage as fast as you can for your physical and emotional safety.
If you have children, your primary concern will be their well-being. Making sure you have the money to take care of them is of vital importance.
The parent who has primary custody of the children may be able to collect child support. You should contact a lawyer to see if you are qualified and entitled to such payments. According to the Houston child support attorneys of Holmes Diggs, “by contacting an attorney, you can make sure you are not being awarded too little in child support”. An experienced professional can protect you and your children’s financial future.
Marriage is a commitment. It is based on mutual love, trust, and respect. Do what you can to reawaken love for each other and don’t give up.